One With Nature

"Why don't you go sit on the back porch? It's beautiful outside this time of day. The sun is almost setting and I can feel the cool air through the window." Nadine said beaming from ear to ear. She was certain that this would cure Suri's current funk. No one could continue to sulk in the midst of such a beautiful day. Even the most stoic of personalities would find reason to smile when nature welcomes you with open arms. She sat in her dark suede armchair blissfully sipping a cup of tea awaiting Suri's reply.

Suri looked off to the side as a lump gathered in her throat. She had been avoiding this moment since she moved in. Nadine had no idea what vast amounts of invisible baggage lie on that back porch. She had no idea that Suri had left a chuck of her heart on that porch to dry up and wither away  in the sun the day that she found out Tyson was married. She wanted that part of herself to die a slow and silently painful death with no witnesses.
She tried desperately not to show her discomfort with the seemingly harmless suggestion. Glancing back in Nadine's direction she smiled politely and said "Sure. I'll go outside for a moment."
The walk from the living room to the back patio seemed to be the longest walk of her life. Flashbacks of that night flooded her mind and she began to feel queasy. She could hear her feet heavily thumping against the tile with every step, but she mustered up the courage to go on. She now stood in front of the patio doors. The glass door glared and slightly stung her eyes- she squinted to get a better look. Placing her hand against the glass she peered closer and studied the bark of the oak tree that lie in the middle of the yard. It was a testament to stability in a world of chaos. She longed to be like that tree- unmoved by the world around her or the mistakes of her past.

She slid the door open and walked outside. She stood on the grass- her bare feet wiggling between the lush green blades. The soft breeze licked her face and a feeling of calm enveloped her body. She knew this place. She loved this place. This backyard held the final resting place of her lust, her passion for what was an effervescent love affair. There was more sweetness to her memories of that night than bitter, so she smiled softly to herself as she recalled their night together. She rubbed her belly and was surprised at how quickly it had ballooned- it had begun to take on a personality all its own. She felt a kick and chuckled softly at the small miracle of life. She then grew somber at the thought that the child inside of her will never know its father. She took a deep breath, sighed heavily, and whispered to the wind "make it all alright."

Her thoughts were interrupted when something flickered in her peripheral view. She looked to the right and beside the bushes a piece of red material stood out. She wondered what such an obvious spot of red was doing in the midst of such greenery. She walked closer and saw that it was a shoe- two shoes. In fact, they were her shoes. Her red sequin  pumps that she assumed to be long gone were here all along? Had she left them here that night in a drunken haze? She laughed at herself for not remembering how she got home that night missing a very expensive pair of heels. She then placed both feet inside of the shoes and clicked her heels together smiling giddily.

Nadine looked at her through the kitchen window. The breeze felt cold to her and caused her hairs to stand on end. She wondered where those shoes came from....

In raw form

She lie naked on the marble floor curled up in the fetal position, protecting her sacred stash of iridescent powder. The shower water was still running and her skin was wet and warm like morning dew from its drops. The marble was cold and goosebumps began to emerge slowly covering her body. She couldn't remember how she got onto the floor but she was blissful. Someone wanted her stash and they weren't gonna get it because she had beat them to it. Her eyes danced as she examined the glorious pile on the floor. It reminded her of a mountain snow cap- it was flawless and serene in its splendor. She took a bit onto her finger and rubbed it across her gums, then breathed heavily as she inhaled directly from the pile. She began to laugh hysterically at the sensation in her nose and the resulting crimson river that flowed from her left nostril. She rolled over onto her knees and crawled over to the roll of tissue paper hanging next to the toilet. A trail of red drops followed her and made abstract designs on the gold and rust colored marble that resembled fiery flames. She wiped her nose and examined the impromptu artwork the surrounded her. They indeed looked like flames- could this be hell? Had she finally discovered the place where all others rather not dwell? The place she was always warned about? The place people spent their lives sacrificing to avoid? The crimson flames seemed to mock her, laugh at her. As if they knew there was no way she could ever escape them. She was in hell. The truest hell that ever existed- a self-imposed death sentence. She had burdened herself with a pain her mind and body could not  manage and would use anyone or anything to numb her reality. She secretly wished for the powder she loved so dearly to end her misery and end her life. If she couldn't die enjoying the artificial fleeting happiness that drugs provided, she could never stomach dying sober and would rather live for eternity. She silently screamed for someone to save her. She looked down and saw someone's feet. They were delicate and familiar. A voice called to her and she looked up, somewhat blinded by the bright bathroom lights.

"Suri, girl what have you gotten yourself into this time?" It was Aryn. She was just like her old self again. She smiled and placed her hand on her hip in the sassy manner that was so unique to her personality.
"Do I need to take you home? You look like you've been partying a bit hard today," she chuckled.
Suri smiled and replied "Oh don't mind me, I'm just living life in the fast lane."
"Well you know we don't have much time to waste. They'll be here any minute. You might want to get yourself dried off and put something on. This is no good." She held up a white dress with a red stain and dirty frayed seams. The dress looked like it had been burned with a cigarette and bore a small hole where the burn must have occurred  She shaked her head disapprovingly at the site of it. Aryn tossed the dress at Suri, walked over beside her, and whispered in her ear-
"What are you gonna do when you realize you already have everything?"
"What do you mean? I don't have anything," Suri whispered.
"You have it all," Aryn replied.
"I have nothing! I HAVE NOTHING!" Suri screamed as she swung her arms wildly at the air. Aryn had gone, and she was left alone, cold and naked on the bathroom floor. Who is the savior to those needing to be saved from themselves? She had become nothing more than a fragment of a person desperately searching for its missing parts.

A Meeting with Grandma

"You're name is Suri right honey?" Grandma asked squinting her eyes. She placed the cold pack of peas on the side of Suri's jaw
"Yes I am mam. I came here little while ago when my momma-" Suri said.
"Yes, yes I remember. No need to refresh my memory," Grandma replied shaking her hand dismissively.
"Why do you think you are here young lady?" she asked
"Cause I don't have no place else to stay. I guess." Suri replied looking down at the ground.
"What makes you think you don't have any place else to go? You're what- eight, nine, ten years old? The whole world is at your feet young lady. This place is merely a pit stop. You can leave anytime you like," she said.
"What if I don't want to leave?" Suri said looking up teary eyed.
"You can stay my dear, but never be afraid to leave ya hear? Sometimes you have to leave your comforts behind and discover what it's like to be uncomfortable." Grandma replied as she examined Suri's face for any bruising. She took her two fingers and lightly pressed several spots on her face to see if they were tender.
"You'll be okay. A little red and swollen for a few days, but you'll be fine."
" What do you mean by saying I should be uncomfortable?" Suri said perplexed. Grandma laughed and said " I remember when I was a little younger  than you and I needed new shoes.  I had a pair of black shoes with buckles on them that I wore darn near everyday. I loved those shoes, but then just like that I got too big for them and I had to squeeze my feet into them. Oooh my baby toes hurt so bad!" She said with a chuckle. "But then one day my momma got me a new pair with lace up string instead of buckles, because she said I was old enough to tie my own shoes. I put on those new shoes and they fit perfectly! It took me a while to learn how to tie them just right, but I was so proud to wear shoes with lace up strings. See honey, you'll learn soon enough that comforts don't help people grow." Grandma smiled and gave Suri a tight hug.
"Make sense now?" Grandma asked as she stood up and walked away.
"Yes mam," Suri replied smiling. She watched Grandma walk toward the front of the house. Then she stopped and turned her head over her shoulder.
"Won't you do me a favor and  tell Cara that I said she can help me sew my dress after breakfast tomorrow. That should give you enough time to swing under the tree by yourself- with out her supervision," Grandma said with a wink.
"Yes mam!" Suri said beaming from ear to ear. "I'll go tell her right now!"

A tour

"Are you done eating breakfast?" the girl asked. Suri looked over her shoulder and was comforted by the sight of her new friend. "Yeah, I'm all done now," she replied dropping her spoon. What do we do after breakfast?" she asked clearly uncertain of the daily routine. Some of us help clear the tables and the older kids take turns washing the dishes. Grandma likes everyone to pitch in to show their appreciation. Suri was beginning to wonder if every other sentence the girl uttered would begin with 'grandma.' It reminded her of church folk always mentioning the pastor in their conversations. She was comforted by the familiarity yet annoyed by the redundancy.

"Is grandma here everyday? Or does she just visit from time to time?" she asked. "Oh, Grandma lives here with us. Do you like her? Have you talked to her? Did you meet her? I bet you'd really like her!" the girl inquired excitedly. Suri felt out of place considering Grandma had never smiled at her let alone talked to her. She didn't really get the impression that the woman cared to know anything about her. She was beginning to miss her old home and all of the predictability that comes from having a place to call home.

"Do you want to see the backyard? That's where we play after breakfast." the girl asked. "Sure. Do they have swings out there?" Suri asked wide-eyed and smiling from ear to ear. She loved the swings. She could just picture herself rocking back and forth with the wind gently licking her face. She began to smile at the thought. "Yes of course we have swings!" the girl exclaimed. "What kind of home doesn't have swings?" she giggled. Suri felt certain the girl had never been anywhere outside of this house. Their were plenty of homes that didn't have swings. Her old house didn't have any swings until her daddy built one. She thought back to that day....
"Daddy! What you doin' with all of that wood there?" she asked curiously as she leaned over his tall shoulder.
"I'm building a swing for my little girl."he replied beaming. "What's the point of having this big ol' tree over here if I aint gonna put a nice swing underneath it?"
"A swing daddy?! Really! for me?" she said planting a big kiss on his cheek.
"Let me show you how it's done baby girl," he said pulling her around to face him. He grabbed the freshly cut piece of wood with both hands. "See I put two holes in the sides and then we take this rope right here and-"

"Hey! Hey, Suri! You coming?" the girl asked. She stood tapping her foot in the middle of the backyard. "Oh, yes I'm coming now." Suri replied.

Suri walked into the backyard and was awestruck by the greenery. There were vines wrapping around the wooden gate, thick grass coating the ground, and tall trees that almost touched the sky that keeping the yard cool. Children ran back and forth playing tag and pirate ship with sticks. Little boys wrestled in the dirt and some girls gossiped in the corner. She wondered if they were talking about her. Then she saw it. The swing. It was spectacular. It had a thick yellow rope that hugged the tree branch on both sides and the tree's branches draped over it leaving only a small space for the sunshine to enter. And it did enter. It shined directly onto the seat of the swing. It seemed to call out to her. She ran full speed to the swing, plopped onto it, leaned back and pushed herself forward. She swung effortlessly in the breeze. Then suddenly someone shoved her off and she fell face first into the dirt with a thud. "Who are you?!" the voice called out angrily. "We ain't got but one swing. You can't just be jumping on it like it's yours shoot!"
Suri slowly looked up puzzled. She saw long legs in blue jeans and a plaid cotton shirt. Then she saw the face of an older girl who was clearly agitated with her arms crossed. "Aryn! What is she doing on my swing?" Suri was shocked to see her new friend fidgeting with her clothes and unsure of how to answer. She realized that she had never even taken the courtesy to ask the girl what her name was and how rude that must have seemed.
"She um, she just came over and um. She didn't know. She didn't ask me to ask you - " Aryn stammered.
"I didn't know I couldn't get on it. Nobody told me nothing." Suri chimed in holding her jaw which felt sore from the fall. "I didn't see nobody on it so I just got on it."
"Saying 'you didn't know' aint no real excuse! You need to learn to ask somebody fo' you just be doin stuff," the girl said. "I'm Cara and this is my swing ya hear! If you want to get on it you have to ask me first. I'm in charge!" she yelled.

Suri was confused. She was under the impression that the only person in charge was Grandma. Now some girl named Cara is in charge too, and had the right to tell her she couldn't use the swing? This was all too much for one day. She dusted off her clothes and decided she didn't want to play in the backyard anymore. She looked over at Aryn disappointed and regretting having ever agreed to play outside with her.
"Why don't you go tell Grandma you didn't know. She'll let you swing for sure." Aryn asked energetically.
"Why don't you go ask her," Suri replied. "You know a whole lot more about the way things go around here than I do." She walked off shaking her head "I should have known better. I never had any friends and I definitely don't have any here," she thought to herself.  She continued to rub her jaw and wondered if it was swollen. She saw Grandma approaching.

"What's wrong with your face baby?" Grandma asked.
"I didn't know I couldn't get on the swing and that tall girl pushed me off" Suri replied avoiding eye contact.
"Never begin a sentence with "I didn't know". Ignorance is a choice young lady." Grandma replied. "Now come have a seat by the sink and I'll put some cold peas on your face."
Suri felt like her blood was boiling. She hadn't done anything to anybody. The girl pushed her off of the swing  for nothing and all Grandma could say was ignorance was a choice? She was convinced this place was full of crazy people.
She made up her mind to count down the days until she could leave.

Disbelief

It was now Saturday. They hadn't seen each other in days and she wasn't brave enough to call him, hell she didn't even have his phone number. She couldn't stop thinking about him. No matter what thoughts crossed her mind periodically throughout the day, the thought of Tyson remained tyrannical in her mind. She had never felt such passion and emotion in her life. She kept remembering the soft smile the grazed his face whenever their eyes met. The love they made was sacred and profane at the same time. It was lustful and graceful. He was her spiritual equal and they both prayed to the god of euphoria. The climatic electricity that burts from within them both simultaneously was something she couldn't begin to comprehend. It was as if they were two separate souls and became one with a single embrace. She had to see him again. Her personal sanity depended on seeing his face once more time before the blissful memory faded into nothingness. She sat in her room staring up at the ceiling and waiting for a sign. What to do? Where to go? She couldn't go to the nightclub, it was far too early in the day for that. She had no idea where he worked so that wasn't an option either. What to do? Where to go?
Then in an instant a fantastic thought illuminated her brain. She would casually go for a walk near the club and  casually walk by his place. Perhaps she would see him in the front lawn washing his car or catch a glimpse of him washing dishes in the kitchen. It would be all she'd need to get her through the rest of the day before her show began this evening. She put on a pair of her favorite ripped jeans, a loose blouse, and pink ballet flats. She decided to let her breasts hang freely since the silk material of the blouse felt glorious against her skin. Opening the door she smiled as the sun shined brightly on her face. " This is a good sign,"  she thought "I will get to see him and be at peace for the rest of the week having done so."

She walked down the street and felt butterflies in her stomach as she watched an elderly couple hold hands on a bench and a young couple kiss at the bus stop. A small baby giggled at his father making funny faces and his laugh was infectious enough to even make her chuckle. Today was a beautiful day for a walk. She reached the nightclub and read a small sign that hung on the door marked "closed", she put her hands on window next to the door and peered through the blinds to see if anyone was inside. It would be wonderful someone could pour her a glass of ice water- it was getting fairly warm outside. She saw nothing but a dark empty bar and chairs hanging upside down on top of the dining room tables. She decided to keep walking. Just a few more blocks until she reached his doorstep. That was more than enough inspiration to continue her journey.

She realized she was literally only one house away from his and began pacing back and forth. " What if he sees me? What will I say if he asks what I'm doing in this neighborhood? I don't know anyone here. I can't possibly lie and say that I know someone on this side of town." She took a deep breath. " What do I care? I will proudly tell him that I came  all this way to see his face. He should appreciate that! I'm more than sure he will appreciate that." The thought of his impending appreciation caused her to fumble with the buttons on her blouse and she unbuttoned the first two revealing some cleavage. That was all the confidence she needed.

She marched toward his front doorstep but stopped dead in her tracks once she reached his backyard. Her feet became glued to the cement and her head tilted at the realization that her eyes must be deceiving her. There he was- shirtless in a pair of grass and dirt stained blue jeans. She couldn't see his face but she knew his body well. She watched as his back muscles flexed in the sunlight causing light sweat beads to cascade down to his lower back wetting the top rim of his jeans.There was a woman lying underneath him and her ebony brown legs glimmered in the sun as they wrapped around him. She was wearing a yellow dress that slightly fell off of her shoulders and blew softly with the breeze. The dress rose up her thigh and revealed that she wasn't wearing any panties. They kissed each other passionately and she ran her fingers through his thick hair and licked his earlobe. Then suddenly something shiny began reflecting off of her hand. It nearly blinded Suri when the sunlight hit it directly. Suri placed her hand over her eyes to shade them from the sun in order to get a better glimpse. And that's when she noticed that the woman in the yellow dress was wearing a wedding ring. What was even more shocking, is that he was wearing one as well.

She felt like the air was being sucked out of her lungs. Each of the butterflies that once danced inside her stomach began to die and rot away forming to poisonous cyanide in her gut and making her feel as if she were about to vomit. She bent over in pain and sickness. She had to get out of there. Now. She had to turn around and walk back home, but tears began to fall from her eyes and dropped like fresh rain onto her hands. The tears burned her hands and skin as they fell because she knew the were an abomination. A man like that didn't deserve tears- that was for sure. She forced her body into motion and ran. All she wanted was to get back to her bed. She desperately needed the protection of her own four walls to keep her safe from the all evil that lie outside her front door. She never wanted to leave home again. She promised herself she'd never leave home again.

A day in the life

He walked into the front door tiptoeing lightly as to not cause the floor to creak. He made sure she never knew how late his Saturday sessions went at the club. It was his personal time away. Away from the needs of a wife and a household. More importantly it was time away from the melancholy that permeated the house for the past four years. She wanted a child. Last year she begged and pleaded for a child and he gave one to her. It was her job to take care of the rest- to deliver it safely to him and the rest of the world, but she failed. Now all that remained was an empty room decorated in pale green and yellow adorning cherry oak furniture and fluffy stuffed animals. She refused to remove it. Why couldn't she just remove it all? If she would get rid of the lifeless furniture she would be less likely to ask him to "try again." To lie on top of her and kiss her softly and try to help her conceive so that he could have one more thing standing in the way of his ambitions. She was a wonderful woman- kind, supportive, and delicate. The delicate part was what drove him most insane. She was so damn delicate. If he found it hard to leave her now, it would be impossible to leave her with a baby in her arms- his baby.

In the meantime he searched for women who tickled his fancy and satisfied his desires. They loved to see him play- his saxophone was his voiceless wingman. It broke the ice and brought the ladies his way. It didn't hurt that he had the appearance of an Adonis. Impeccably dressed and well spoken with warm light brown eyes, caramel brown skin, and a dangerously charming smile framed by a sharp, square jawline.Women were never a challenge for him. In fact they were the only thing that remained constant in his life. They were everywhere.They winked at him as they slowly crossed their legs. They licked their lips and tucked their hair behind their ears exposing the nape of their necks as they pretended to simply powder their noses. Women were so predictable. A predictability that he had come to rely on while the rest of his life was in constant juggling. He married Nadine because she was predictable in that way. He could rely on her to awake before him in the morning to shower, comb her hair, and prepare breakfast. He could guarantee that while he ate his breakfast she would stand behind him and give him a back massage eagerly asking how his day went at the office yesterday. He could then watch as she meticulously put on her nursing scrubs while he picked out his suit and headed out the door never to be seen again until evening. They would kiss goodbye in the driveway and he would drive off in a flash with his engine purring.

He made a left at the corner and pulled his car over to the side of the road. He then cautiously watched her out of his rear view mirror as she paused at a stop sign then drove further down the road until her car became a small speckle of red and then nothing. He placed his foot on the gas made a left at the stop sign, another left, and another until he reached their home. He pulled into the driveway, shut off the engine, and sighed. He glanced at his watch "Great, it's 7:15 and I have to be at work in an hour." He jumped out of the car grabbed his brief case and slammed the car door behind him. Running to the front steps, he stumbled and  dropped the briefcase spilling its contents onto the ground. Sheets of paper spilled upon the concrete- a nonsensical hodgepodge of graphs, bullet points, and jazz album reviews. He angrily grabbed at each one praying that the wind didn't blow. "This is the last thing I need right now!" he huffed. He snapped the briefcase shut and opened the door. "Five minutes wasted. Ugh!" Time was not on his side. He walked back to the bedroom and carefully removed his suit. He gently pulled at each sleeve, eased off the jacket and carefully placed onto the bed so as to not encourage wrinkles. He loosed his gold tie, unbuttoned his white collared shirt, removed his pants, and lastly his wingtip shoes. He grabbed a wooden hanger and meticulously placed each article of clothing in its respective place before hanging it amongst his other show pieces. He took a step back and marveled at the beauty of his wardrobe- perfectly color coordinated and sized according to height an occasion. It was a closet to be envied, and it certainly stole the spotlight from his wife's boringly modest ensemble. He flopped onto the bed and exhaled as he grabbed the black dufflebag from underneath the mattress. "Here we go again, another beautiful wool&silk suit gone to waste." He pulled out a navy blue jumpsuit and work boots then threw them on without much effort. Checking his watch he beamed "Well I'll be damned!Still on time. I definitely don't want to make up anymore excuses for being late."  He went to the kitchen, packed a quick lunch, tossed it in the bag and headed out of the door.

A night to remember

The music blared from wall to wall and she felt as if she was floating on a cloud. The crowd seemed to move in slow motion to the high tempo beats. Purple lighting, fog machines, and blue neon signs took her newly acquired high to a whole new level. Dazed and moving effortlessly in sync to the rhythm she could live in this moment for eternity. The 80s would be coming to a close soon so she felt the need to make the most of the next few years before some odd, foreign decade took over. A hand tugged at her shoulder.

"Suri! Suri! Girl how long do you want us to stay here? I thought we were supposed to meet up with Steven and Vaughn?!" she said clearly annoyed and checking her watch.
"Aryn we're gonna meet up with them. I promised you that. They aren't going anywhere. Enjoy the vibe lady! Besides, it's good luck for a woman to keep a man waiting- if he leaves, then he wasn't really interested."
They laughed as Suri took her hand and they began dancing to the beat.

She could always put a smile on Aryn's face no matter what the occasion or circumstance. Aryn would follow to her gladly to the pits of hell as long as Suri flashed that million dollar smile at her.She wanted to be just like her, whatever that meant and at whatever cost.  Tonight was a special night. Tonight was their first night on the town as city girls. They had just moved into a matchbox sized apartment, painted the walls teal green with yellow accents, and were set to meet up with two of the hottest guys in the area. They'd met them at a local pizza parlor. The guys saw two beautiful girls arguing over which toppings to include on their pie, and they walked over to mediate the situation. They promised to settle their issue for them as long as the girls promised they would take down their phone numbers and meet up again soon. Today was the perfect day to see them again. Aryn couldn't help imagining what her date might smell like outside of the overwhelming scent of pizza crust.

"Okay Suri. We really should be going. It's after ten o'clock.They said they'd pick us up at 10:30pm." she urged.
 "Alright, alright, alright. Let's go," she replied rolling her eyes and surrendering reluctantly. She wasn't particularly fond of spending the rest of her evening with those two guys when she could have a great time with by herself with the DJ's talented playlist. They exited the party and the double doors flung open sending in a strong gust of cold night air causing both of them to shudder and cover their shoulders with their jackets. They stood with their backs to the wall impatiently waiting for the guys to arrive.

"Are you happy now? We're standing outside in the cold waiting for two knights in shining polyester to pick us up. Wonderful," she said.
"Yes, if you're honestly asking. I am happy. Those men are gorgeous and our night will only get better once they open the car door for us." Aryn replied.
"Gorgeous? Well I guess the are pretty good looking huh?" she chuckled.
Suddenly a brown two door coupe pulled up and honked excitedly. "
"Hehehe! That must be them!" Aryn blurted clearly impressed. The passenger side door opened and Vaughn stepped out wearing a camel toned trench coat. He beamed with pride as the two ladies approached the car.  "Good evening ladies," ha said as he pulled back the passenger seat allowing them to step into the backseat.

"Are these the super models we met at the pizza joint?" Steve said with a smile. They all laughed in unison and Steve turned the radio dial to look for something upbeat.
" Hey hey hey! Leave it there!" Aryn shouted when she heard the chorus to "Oh Sheila."  They all sang along off key as the car rolled down the street. They pulled over to a nearby parking lot while Ready for the World buzzed in their ears. The boys opened the doors and invited the girls to sit up front with them. The melody to Wham's "Careless Whisper" began to play and the guys  gave each other a wink knowing the timing couldn't be better.

"Suri why don't you come and sit with me?" Vaughn suggested.
"And Aryn you can come and keep me company" Steven echoed.
They began to kiss and grope causing the windows to fog mildly against the cold night air. Vaughn slipped his hand up Suri's blouse, reach his fingers into her bra, and pulled out a small vile.
"What's this?" he said breathing heavily as he slowly pulled his lips away from hers.
" That's my party in a tube" she said with a smirk.
"Oh okay, I see" he replied opening the vile and taking a bit onto his pinky nail. He sniffed swiftly and called out to the others "Hey guys anybody want to join the party?" Suri happily joined in, and passed it over to Steven who shrugged his shoulders and took his turn as well.

"No thanks, don't pass that stuff this way" Aryn said holding her hands up in a halting motion.
"Don't be such a prude Aryn!" Suri shouted. She couldn't believe that Aryn would drag her off of the dance floor to meet up with these guys and then have the nerve to pull one of her 'goodie two shoes' stunts. Not tonight. No way. Suri yanked the vile from Steven's hands and shoved it in Aryn's face. "Here!" she said clearly irritated.
"Okay fine." Aryn said with a sigh and nervously took a sniff of the powder. She felt a surge of energy and started giggling. "Ah, there you go" Suri replied as she took another hit. They continued to circle the vile until Suri grabbed the it and shouted "Alright that's enough everybody!" in a sluggish tone.
 "I want a little more. C'mon don't get stingy" Aryn said whimsically.
 "I don't know about that"  she replied.
"Aw c'mon Suri keep the party going and give the girl a little more" Steven said reclining his seat back and kissing Aryn on the neck.
"Yeah, go ahead" Vaughn chimed in.
" Okay okay" Suri said as she handed the vile over to her.
Aryn took a heavy shot up her nose and held her nostrils as she sniffed repeatedly. Her body shook uncontrollably and she collapsed lifelessly onto Steven's chest.
Her eyes stared blankly at Suri.

If only....

“Alright Joe, take it from the third stanza and I’ll back you up.” He loved these late night rehearsals. It was the only time in the day where he could completely loose himself. Empty his soul of heartache with each forceful blow of the horn, while longing for each note to fall gracefully like autumn leaves. Yes, this was living- sitting on the stool center stage with lights dim and the air thick with cigarette smoke and ladies perfume. The club was always best when the crowd was gone. Something about being one of the sole survivors of the bartender’s “last call” made him feel like royalty. For them the cup was always full, quite literally, with all the brown and white liquor their hearts desired as long as they played the tunes that breathed life into the place. Tyson moistened his lips and gave that sax one final blow, playing the kind of note that sent chills down the waitress’s spine and caused her to promptly wink in his direction. He had no need for food. Hell, he could live and thrive off of jazz and gin for as long as his kidneys would let him. He lit the last cigarette from the carton before it grew damp from the sweat of his chest pocket, and began contemplating how successful he’d become the moment a record producer walked in and heard him wail on his saxophone with the passion of a church choir. He was more than confident that one day soon, his big break would come.

“Damn Ty I can hear you beggin for a record contract every time you pick up that horn!”

“Yeah man, you know I gotta make them notes beg for mercy! Gotta show ‘em who’s boss ya dig?” They burst into laughter and the deep pitch of their voices created a lion’s roar that echoed throughout the club. “Keep at it man! You know one day we three are gonna make it big and take the jazz world by storm. We already have that line wrapped around the corner every Friday night wit folks fightin for seats to hear us play.” Aint no doubt about it. We gonna make it BIG Ty.”

“Ay, yall keep it down up there! Folks can hear you a mile away. You know what time it is?!”

“Sorry Boon, we aint mean no harm just cuttin up as usual. You know how we do.” “I know how yall do alright, but yall best be getting a move on cause I got a wife and a warm bed waiting on me. I feel like a teacher in charge of after school detention. Everybody knows the only thing worse than having detention is being in charge of it. Leave dammit! Go home.”

"You know you love us all like step children. That’s the only reason you want us to leave- so we can go to bed at a decent hour and get some beauty rest. Lord knows yo wife’s bed is cold as ice. You know good and well that living room couch is what’s waiting for you!”

Tears welled in their eyes as they hugged tight to their bellies aching from the laughter.  Tyson couldn’t help but think that he was surely gonna miss this place. He had a constant war going on in his mind about whether or not to tell them is plans for striking it out on is own and leaving this place behind. A solo career is what he was made for. He’d probably reach his death bed before these guys ever saw the likes of fame. To them superstar status is signing autographs for country folk and school children. They had no ambition to be national celebrities. Grammy award winners. Hall of fame musicians. Naw. They couldn’t even fathom it.  

The Mission

"Get off of that couch! I paid good money for that plastic cover and I don't need you ruining it." she said pointing her finger while a nerve pulsated in the middle of her forehead.  No one knew how to get under her skin better than Suri. She would watch that little girl instigate all sorts of situations with the only goal being to 'get a rise out of Grandma.'

Suri knew that no one could be as serious and tight lipped as Grandma and not be able to smile and laugh from time to time- and worst case scenario if she couldn't make her smile, she'd settle for making her mad. There was nothing she loved more than being able to touch a side of Grandma none of the other kids could reach. Life in a foster home could get so dull that the thought of counting the strands of hair on her head seemed quite intriguing. But Grandma's eyes made it all worth while. It was as if the entire Milky Way galaxy resided in her eyes and twinkled ever so softly. She carried the weight of the world in the corners of her mouth and would boast how easy that was by simply flashing a smile once in a while. She could do it all- anything. Yet she chose to spend her days feeding the forgotten babies of yesterday in hopes that they would become the unforgettables of tomorrow. They all felt permanently indebted to her because of it. She was the embodiment of purpose and they all needed desperately to follow her lead. But Suri was never one for  'follow the leader' and found it difficult to obey authority even if the authority figure was heaven sent.

"We were just sitting here and hanging out. Dang.What's the point of having a couch if c'aint nobody sit on it?" Suri replied sucking her teeth. 
"Don't back talk me! I want y' all out of this sittin' area right now! Y'all aint gonna ruin the only nice place of respite I have left in this house." she walked off hurriedly with steam fuming from her head while she held her hand on her hip. 
" C'mon yall', Suri directed. " We'll go hang in the backyard." 
The others followed her eagerly. They knew all of the action took place in the backyard. The backyard was their private office space. While the little ones ran and played, they would plot out their next mission- to escape.  

No way out

It was going to be a hell of a day as far as she could tell. The office overflowing with deafening chatter. They all  had their opinions and didn't hesitate to argue back and forth about a matter that certainly did not pertain to them. She walked with urgency to her desk ignoring their pseudo-clandestine stares, and being careful not to spill her coffee.That was going to be her life force for the day and the only thing that could help her function in the midst of all of  the madness.
The press would be there any minute and she was totally unprepared. She watched the senator do a mock interview with an intern in the corner, and she knew they would want her to speak as well. There were far more questions than answers and she knew that making one wrong move would end her entire career as a state representative. What was she doing at the cafe on Monday afternoon? Such a simple question that she couldn't seem to answer. They had already arrested Mcgivens for embezzlement and there she was spotted out to lunch with him two days before his public arrest. They would try to link her name to his crimes, that was certain.
She looked around for her assistant. Where was that prepubescent teenie bopper when she needed her most? That girl was certainly treading on thin ice. Someone needed to make sure her hair and make-up was in tact before she would dare make a public statement. "A statement? Oh, dear" she thought as she sighed heavily. She had nothing written down and improvisation for a matter like this was political suicide. The media was bloodthirsty and looking for raw meat. Bewildered, she gazed out of the window in search of inspiration. What could she say? She powered on her laptop and fumbled with the keys as she kept close watch of the clock. Time was not on her side.

Running

Feeling the movement in the wind she stood on the shoreline and watched the waves crash beneath her feet. She couldn't say what drew her to this place time and time again, but the beauty of the sea always reassured her much simpler than she often framed it in her mine. She left something behind in that old town, she left part of herself dangling from that old wind-chime that danced in the evening breeze. It was of no importance now. No nothing mattered anymore except the fight for her life. They would soon find her here, she knew it. He was dead and  she was to blame- there was no getting around that. What could she possibly say that would make  her seem like less of a monster? Every time she closed her eyes she could see his body lying lifelessly in that chair. His eyes glazed over and staring into nothingness. All she wanted was to give him a strong enough dosage so that he would come clean about what he had done that night in July. The little girl inside her deserved vindication. He was guilty of manipulation of the cruelest kind and it was her right to do what the law could never do. He had enough money to buy the town outright and that was exactly what he'd succeeded at doing- placing a price tag on everyone that came in contact with. But she couldn't be bought, and the burned him to the core. Who was she to decide that she had intrinsic value when the rest of the world happily sold itself  for pennies on the dollar?